PUA Openers

The best openers, stories, and banter lines collected from the world's greatest PUAs.

Revised Jealous Cat Routine

My friend has been going out with a girl for about three months and they get along really well, they love each other heaps, but she hates his cat. Like whenever she tries to pet it, it will just look at her like she’s an idiot and walk off and one time she left her shoes by the door and it pissed on them.

So now they’re talking about moving in together, but she will only do it if he gets rid of his cat. What do you think he should do? We’ve thought of four things:

1. Get her to fatten it up with treats until it loves her.
2. Say to his girlfriend: It’s me or the cat.
3. Call that Cats From Hell guy – have you seen that shit on Netflix? I think it would make an interesting story – and think he could sort the cat out.
4. Slip a tiny bag of cat nip into her purse and pockets so the cat will just love her so it can get high.

But I think the fourth one is a bad idea though because if she ever got searched it would look really bad…

[This is a great routine because when you call her up the first time, you can open with the following]

Hey so you know my busy with the jealous cat? Well he chose option 2 and dumped her. I think he made the right choice.

– Revised from the original Jealous Cat routine by Prophet

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