PUA Openers

The best openers, stories, and banter lines collected from the world's greatest PUAs.

Laura’s Lost Phone

So, I met my friend Laura for a few of drinks last Saturday. We hadn’t seen each other for a while, and it was great to meet up again, and chat about the good old days.

She was a friend of my ex-girlfriend’s, and had accidentally walked in on us having sex one night, but that’s a different story! We always have a laugh about that.

Anyway, Laura discovered that she’d lost her phone, and started panicking. I just said “Just relax, I’m here, we’ll get your phone back”. I called it up, and there was no answer, so I sent a text message saying “Please call this number when you find this phone, reward available”.

An hour went by, and no-one called! So, I said to Laura “We’ll re-trace our steps, and go back to every bar we’d been to”. So we did. We went back to all the bars, and no-one had it. We went back to the Polo Lounge, and all these guys started eyeing me up! I asked one of the guys, who looked as if he worked there if he had found a mobile phone. He started searching me, slyly feeling my crotch and chest! I said “whoa, whoa, I don’t have it, I was asking if you had found it!”.

He said “Oh, sorry, no”.

Yes, we went to a gay bar, cos Laura likes the decor!

Anyway, we were about to go to the local police station when I said to Laura “Open you handbag”. She did, and lo and behold, underneath all that junk she found her phone!

Why do women carry so much junk?!

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