PUA Openers

The best openers, stories, and banter lines collected from the world's greatest PUAs.

Banter Lines

The Toys Routine

OMG … today I found my old toys in the basement at my little sisters house … well she’s 21 now but I call her my little sister … so she had all these barbies, and I had G.I. Joes … I remember when my sister would try to make them get married, and I […]

 

Cartoons Routine

OMG… this morning I saw the BEST shit EVER.. remember when you were a kid… what cartoons did you watch?? Well when I was a kid, we had He-Man, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Transformers… and on TV this morning, they had new episodes with new animations of all of them… it was the […]

 

Drunk Girls Routine

Me: OMG, are you drunk? Her: Yes / No Yes: Me: Oh, HB, you make me sad! Her: Why? Me: You seem so sweet and nice, and I feel like we’d be super compatible… but you’re so drunk that this connection we have isn’t even REAL. I mean, do you think I’m cute? Do you […]

 

My Cheeks Are Hurting Routine

OMG my cheeks are hurting. We were laughing so hard, like, the WHOLE way over here. I’m actually sore from all the laughter. – Lovedrop No products found.

 

Alien Beauty Routine

PUA: You have a very other worldly beauty. HB: Oh, so your saying I look like an alien? PUA: Yes. Yes, I am. Actually, I was hired by the government to find you. They said you escaped the lab. How’s you manage that? Maybe you can be my friend, like ET and I’ll hide you […]

 

Don’t Laugh Gambit

PUA: ok here my little sister showed/told/taught me this just this morning.. I’m not good at it yet (or “not good at telling stories” if its a story), so don’t laugh OK?? I get really shy when girls laugh at me.. HBs: ok… PUA: (now give them the sweetest/cutest/funniest puppydog look *ever*, and just pause […]

 

Penis Implant Gambit

Yeah, I don’t mean to brag or anything but I got a bit of plastic surgery done, and it went really well. Yeah, well it cost a lot of money, but it was totally worth it. Well, it’s a secret. Ok. I got a penis implant. (Proudly with the feeling that you’re enormous now) I’m […]

 

Duck Telling A Joke Routine

PUA: I think I was a witness to the world’s first duck telling a joke. Group: lol, what? PUA: I know you’re skeptical, but hear me out. I was walking in the park with my girlfriend when we saw a single duck quacking away to a group of like 10 ducks or so. (Pause) Well, […]

 

Trust and Comfort Routine

Hey, stop it. Look, honestly, I’m attracted to you guys. But that doesn’t mean anything. I need TRUST AND COMFORT before I can let myself get too emotional. It’s like, first you guys start touching me and asking me my name… And I’m like “OK, this is fine…” …But then I start getting all emotional, […]

 

G-String Routine

Hey I definitely need to understand this. How come you girls find g-strings more comfortable than normal underwear? I mean how can THAT be comfortable? Doesn’t it get in your butt? [a common response you will get, it really feels comfortable. Then continue with:] You girls find that feeling in your butt nice? You girls […]

 

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