Wrong Number Routine
Do you ever answer phone calls you don’t recognize? Don’t you think sometimes it’s a mistake though? Cuz I totally made this mistake last weekend. I get this phone call and it’s this chick. She’s like “Hey is Renaissan there?” I say “Yeah, this Renaissan.” She’s like “Oh my God, this is Melissa you’ll never believe what happened to me today.” She totally shoots off into this whole story about her day. The whole time I’m thinking, “who the fuck is Melissa?” And so finally I had to stop her and was like “wait a minute how do I know you?” And she’s like (frustrated) “Among other things, I meet you at the bars over the weekend.” I was like, it’s still not ringing a bell. She goes: “Well, do you even remember FUCKING me?” So, now I’m like holy shit what happened here? “Wait, who did you say you were calling?” This is Renaissan. RIGHT?” “Yeah. Renaissan who?” “Renaissan D. RIGHT?” “Noooo-ho-ho. You’ve got the wrong phone number.” Cuz, you see Renaissan D is my really good friend who apparently likes to give my number out to girls he never wants to talk to again. But I’ll tell you though… I know he wasn’t ready for the phone call he got because I gave her the right number. Bam.”
– Renaissan
The Romance Novel Routine Did You Just Touch My Ass Opener