PUA Openers

The best openers, stories, and banter lines collected from the world's greatest PUAs.

Banter Lines

Alien Beauty Routine

PUA: You have a very other worldly beauty. HB: Oh, so your saying I look like an alien? PUA: Yes. Yes, I am. Actually, I was hired by the government to find you. They said you escaped the lab. How’s you manage that? Maybe you can be my friend, like ET and I’ll hide you […]

 

Penis Implant Gambit

Yeah, I don’t mean to brag or anything but I got a bit of plastic surgery done, and it went really well. Yeah, well it cost a lot of money, but it was totally worth it. Well, it’s a secret. Ok. I got a penis implant. (Proudly with the feeling that you’re enormous now) I’m […]

 

Don’t Laugh Gambit

PUA: ok here my little sister showed/told/taught me this just this morning.. I’m not good at it yet (or “not good at telling stories” if its a story), so don’t laugh OK?? I get really shy when girls laugh at me.. HBs: ok… PUA: (now give them the sweetest/cutest/funniest puppydog look *ever*, and just pause […]

 

Duck Telling A Joke Routine

PUA: I think I was a witness to the world’s first duck telling a joke. Group: lol, what? PUA: I know you’re skeptical, but hear me out. I was walking in the park with my girlfriend when we saw a single duck quacking away to a group of like 10 ducks or so. (Pause) Well, […]

 

Trust and Comfort Routine

Hey, stop it. Look, honestly, I’m attracted to you guys. But that doesn’t mean anything. I need TRUST AND COMFORT before I can let myself get too emotional. It’s like, first you guys start touching me and asking me my name… And I’m like “OK, this is fine…” …But then I start getting all emotional, […]

 

G-String Routine

Hey I definitely need to understand this. How come you girls find g-strings more comfortable than normal underwear? I mean how can THAT be comfortable? Doesn’t it get in your butt? [a common response you will get, it really feels comfortable. Then continue with:] You girls find that feeling in your butt nice? You girls […]

 

You Seem Warm/Creepy Gambit

“You know, you come off as a warm person, but you really have a hard time letting people in, maybe even trusting people. I bet sometimes you feel like you don’t really connect with people. And for the most part l don’t like girls like yourself, but you have a friendly smile, so, maybe you […]

 

Sexual Predators Routine

Do you know that it is FEMALES, and not males, who are the only ones who have an organ in their body made SOLELY for sexual pleasure. And that organ has twice as many nerve endings as a man’s entire penis. And that organ has more nerve endings packed into a single small space than […]

 

Do you know why we would never get along?

Do you know why we would never get along? Because we’re too similar. You wont take my shit, and I wont take you shit and what fun is that? If I were in a room with myself for a while, I would pull all my hair out of my HEAD. So what I guess what […]

 

The Toys Routine

OMG … today I found my old toys in the basement at my little sisters house … well she’s 21 now but I call her my little sister … so she had all these barbies, and I had G.I. Joes … I remember when my sister would try to make them get married, and I […]

 

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